Category: Bunty’s Thoughts

Miniature horses dressed as Santa got into the festive spirit with bells on when they visited a 95-year-old neighbour for a birthday surprise.

The Falabella horses, which wore red-and-white coats, hats and legwarmers as well as strings of bells which jangled as they walked, are father-and-son Indi, aged eleven, and Fitz, aged four years. Tiny Indi stands at just 29 inches tall – the size of a Great Dane. They belong to owner Ali Thom, who brought them to visit an elderly neighbour as a surprise treat.

Photographer Katielee Arrowsmith recorded a video which went viral on YouTube… so much so that Bunty received a phone call from her son-in-law to say that he saw her on TV… in Germany!

YouTube: https://youtu.be/Z0ypXkQnB8w

A is for arthritis,

B is for bad back,

C is for the chest pains. Corned Beef? Cardiac?

D is for dental decay and decline,

E is for eyesight–can’t read that top line.

F is for fissures and fluid retention

G is for gas (which I’d rather not mention–

and not to forget other gastrointestinal glitches)

H is high blood pressure

I is for itches, and lots of incisions

J is for joints, that now fail to flex

L is for libido–what happened to sex?

Wait! I forgot about K!

K is for my knees that crack all the time

(But forgive me, I get a few lapses in my

Memory from time to time)

N is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis

O is for osteo-for all the bones that crack

P is for prescriptions, that cost a small fortune

Q is for queasiness. Fatal or just the flu?

Give me another pill and I’ll be good as new!

R is for reflux–one meal turns into two

S is for sleepless nights,

counting fears on how to pay my medical bills!

T is for tinnitus–I hear bells in my ears

and the word ‘terminal’ also rings too near

U is for urinary and the difficulties that flow (or not)

V is for vertigo, as life spins by

W is worry, for pains yet unfound

X is for X ray–and what one might find

Y is for year (another one, I’m still alive).

Z is for zest

For surviving the symptoms my body’s deployed,

And keeping twenty-six doctors gainfully employed.

I’m a supermarket trolley
just lurking by the door.
I’ve three good wheels that glide
and one that drags along the floor.

The unsuspecting are my prey
the nervous and the fraught.
I really set them twitching
by not doing what I ought.

I always go my own way
choosing which aisle to course.
If they want tea or coffee
then I make for the sauce.

They can push or pull or kick me
but try with all their might.
Whenever they turn to the left
I still turn to the right.

I collide with other shoppers
and relish what is said
between the one with bloody ankles
and the one whose face is red.

So you’ve had a brief encounter
with a trolley that’s for sure.
It was me, the shopper’s nightmare
Always lurking by the door.

Nedra Lowe

As we SILVER SURFERS know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.

I had a problem yesterday, so called Eric, the 11-year-old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons, and solved the problem.  As he was walking away I called after him, “So what was wrong?”

He replied, “It was an ID ten T error”.

I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless enquired,

“An ‘ID ten T error’? What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.”

Eric grinned.   “Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?”  “No” I replied.

Write it down, he said, and I think you’ll figure it out. So, I wrote it down – ID10T.

I used to like Eric, the little shit-head. If you are not a Senior yet, then send this to someone who is.

Just a line to say I’m living that I’m not among the dead. Though I’m getting more forgetful and so mixed up in the head.

I got used to my arthritis to my dentures I’m resigned I can manage my bifocals. But, Oh God, I miss my mind.

For sometimes I can’t remember when I stand at the foot of the stairs. If I must go up for something or I just came down from there.

And before the fridge so often my poor mind is filled with doubt. Have I just put food away or have I come to take some out?

And there’s times when it is darkened with my night cap on my head. I don’t know if I’m retiring or just getting out of bed.

Whit ye need

Punna self raisin floor
Punna currants an a haunfa o’ raisins
Quartera punna suet
Haufa pun granulatit sugar
Fower wee teaspoonsfa o’ mixed spice
A big pincha saut, some mulk

How ye dae it

Rummle up the hale jing-bang in the boul, addin a wee tate mulk so’s ye get a dough that’s stiff an no runny
Tim some bilin watter oot the kettle inty the fit o’ the basin an’
Spread the cloot oan top o’ the watter
Coup the hale o’ yur dough oot the bowl an’ on tae the cloot in the basin. Draw the coarners o’ the clootie gather an’ tie wi’ the string. Don’t tie the string too tight or the dumpling might burst efter swelling upan’ ye’d be in a hangaua mess. Noo ye’ve a big bag o’d dough about the size o’ a fitba. Next ye pit a plate in the fit o’ the big poat. Then ye gently lower the dumpling oan tae the plate.
Efter theat poor as much bilin’ watter intae the poat as will cover yur dumpling.
Efter a’ this cairry-oan ye’ll mibbe want a cuppa tea an’ a fag or evena wee dram. Anyway whitivvur ye dae don’t let the dumplin simmer fur mair than three-an-a-hauf hoors. Efter that time wheech it oot the poat an oan tae a plate. Peel aff the cloot an’ therr ye hauv a dish fit tae set afore a dizzen Rural Judges.